we're off...

it's that time of year again. fourth of july! and that means we're headed to the lake...hooray! the car is packed..mostly...and we are ready to spend some quality time swimming, relaxing, and enjoying grandmommy and poppy! i'll be back to blog-land sunday night or monday...unless, of course, we can talk grandmommy into a "guest post"...

also, thanks for your sweet comments and prayers about the headaches. i am feeling much better today...and surely relaxing at the lake can only help matters.

ten smile tuesday...

...and, ugh, how i need it! i try to stay upbeat on my blog...not to create a false reality, but simply because that is what i need...to reflect on, remember, and share the blessings in our life...and, let me tell you, there are so many. and yet, life isn't always easy...being a wife and a mom aren't always easy. i know you all know that well...anyway...it has been one of those weeks around our house. (note: the smiles are at the end of the post...i simply had to share my heart first).

i've been fighting a migraine for the past four days...i've struggled with migraines off and on since my sophomore year in college (oh how i remember that year...passing out in the middle of shakespeare class...much to my embarrassment--funny though that at first some of my classmates thought i had simply fallen asleep!). i had an MRI, visited the neurologist, tried different medicines...but there was never a real diagnosis or solution. i've been on different medicines and had seasons of feeling poorly and seasons of feeling normal. after having my wisdom teeth removed last fall the headaches almost completely disappeared, making us think perhaps the wisdom teeth had been the culprit all along. alas...apparently not. the headaches have returned with a vengeance...even including nausea (one migrain symptom i had been lacking before). i have spent the last few days exhausted, discouraged, and feeling fairly useless. yesterday, as i was sitting on the couch with my Bible open, crying out to God for hope, i think i ranged the whole gamut of emotions. for almost a decade i have been living with these headaches...yes, some are worse than others...but, i can think of very few days where i haven't had at least a lingering dull headache. it is something i have simply become used to...my "norm" so to speak. i struggle with the idea of even going to the doctor...i don't want to be told yet again that they don't know what is causing them...that they don't know what to give me to help...and i don't want to be on medicine without knowing the cause of the problem....

...and yet, i hear God calling to my heart, saying, "my grace is sufficient."

...perhaps it is partly my sensitivity and exhaustion from the headaches....but regardless, i have been short and irritable with the girls. it has been one of those weeks...kate is teething (ugh...we can see the teeth right at the surface...they just won't pop through!)....lots of drooling and fussing...LOTS of clinging. and, of course, now that she is mobile, LOTS of following me EVERYWHERE. seriously, i LOVE my kater bug (you all know that, of course)...but dear heavens i can't get anything done lately...she is under foot...constantly....typically with that little fussiness (which i can only hope is all teething related...since this little bug is usually SO happy and content!)...that little face pinched into a pleading look, as if to say, "mommy...please pick me up!" she pulls up onto everything...only to be frustrated that she can't yet figure out how to take that first step and walk...but oh how she is trying! then, there is my dearest elizabeth...dear, dear elizabeth...and, of course, as anyone familiar with almost three year olds know...now she has the words...the words to whine...the ability to not only use unkind words to her sister, but also to bonk kate over the head...ugh! and oh, that stubborn independent streak....funny (in a frustrating way!) how i see my own desire to control manifested so clearly as i look at elizabeth...there are so many things that i want her to try...and i have to admit, i often get frustrated with her shyness...her independent, "i do it myself" streak...how i struggle with wanting to make her over in my image as opposed to allowing her to be the little girl God has created her to be...i want her to be brave...to ride her tricycle, to swim in the big pool, to sing and dance at library storytime, to plunge fearlessly into life...she is content to stand back and observe, to take her time entering these new experiences. i see my own pride...my own selfishness...my struggle to control...my sin.

...and yet, once again, i hear God saying to me, "my grace is sufficient."

this is where i am...these are just a couple snippets of my heart's struggle. we have had so many wonderful sermons from colossians 1 lately...wonderful reminders that Jesus is the "core"...the pre-eminent one...the center of everything. oh how my heart needs to be fixed on this truth...how i need to come back to Him...to depend on Him and let His power work through me. earlier i mentioned sitting on my couch, Bible opened, crying out to God. it was this verse He brought me to...this verse He used to speak to my heart. "and He is before all things and in Him all things hold together." colossians 1:17. Jesus holds ALL things together...ALL things...regardless of headaches or bad days or my struggle against sin...He is holding my day together...He is holding the universe together...He is holding my marriage and family together. He is OVER ALL! my flock group leader from church wrote each of us in the group a note last week...it said this, "a faithful struggle is worth more than a fleshly victory" (colossians 2:6)....how this reality comforts my heart. i need not try in my own strength, in my flesh, to be perfect...i need not pretend...i need simply fall on my face again and again, continuing to put my faith in Christ and ask Him to help me...to ask Him to help me to walk in Him....to keep putting one foot in front of the other and faithfully following Christ each moment and hour and day and week....faithfully struggling to become more like Him. this is my prayer!

and so...i can say that i do rejoice in these "trials", in the things in my life right now that are less than perfect or easy...because God is using them. He is using them to glorify Himself...and to draw me unto Himself...to help me know Him and love Him. and how sweet that even in the midst of the hard things in life, God is faithful to give so many blessings...so many smiles. and, without further ado, here they are...just ten of the many blessings and smiles from our past week.

1. our lovely visit (and walk) with jill and baby brennan....and the joy in knowing there will be many more of these kind of visits to come now that jill has entered the stay-at-home-mommy realm!

2. catching up with a friend from my previous life (an old teaching co-worker)...she and her little boy came over to walk with us on thursday.

3. having GG and grandmommy both at our house on wednesday...elizabeth was thrilled to show GG ALL of her special friends and books and toys...seriously, i think elizabeth dragged out just about every toy she owns! so much fun!

4. a lunch date with my sweet friend lora...it was so encouraging to hear all about her recent short term vision trip to africa...to hear how she is loving Jesus and growing in her relationship with Him. always good!

5. watching daddy and elizabeth make a tasty apple pie (and the delightful aroma of the baking pie!). elizabeth was so cute...smelling each ingredient, hamming it up for the video camera as i caught the precious memory on tape (hopefully we will get the cord we need and be able to show you some video of the girls in action very soon!). and...of course...taking that pie to a cook-out at a fam from church's house...getting to know them...watching our kiddos run around in the backyard...staying out far later than we typically would on a saturday night...and coming home with hearts full from great fellowship and fun!

6. folding the laundry right as it came out of the dryer...let's be honest...sometimes it really is about celebrating the "little" victories, even while the rest of the house might feel like it is exploding into chaos all around me!

7. walking to the library for toddler time this morning. so wonderful to get out in the beautiful sunshine, to read some stories, sing some songs, see some friends we've not seen for awhile....good stuff! gotta love that elizabeth acted completely shy during the actual library time...and then proceeded to sing the songs and dance around as soon as we left the room....silly girl! kate, true to her personality, was LOVING all the singing and bopping around...hamming it up for the group...i tell you, she's going to be the one who doesn't know a stranger!

8. snuggling up with my girlies and a good book. we did get three more new books from half price books on sunday...compliments of the summer reading program. but regardless whether it is a new or old book, the moments spent sitting with the girls and reading are among my favorites. how my heart swells to hear elizabeth "reading" along with me...to see kate lifting the flaps to discover what is under them...to simply be with the girls.

9. elizabeth's love for naming her toes. okay, family will get what i mean here..."little petey, patti lou, odie missel, penny knobble, and BIG TOM GOBBLE!" elizabeth LOVES to tell you the names of her little toesies...and kate's toesies...and mommy and daddy's toesies. this morning her pinky toe (little petey) got stuck when we were putting her sandal on, and she said, "oh no, mommy, little petey is stuck!"...and my heart swelled...i know, that sounds silly...but it did. you see, my bapa taught me the names of my toes when i was just a little girl...probably elizabeth's age...and just a little over a month ago he was sitting in florida, tickling elizabeth's toes and telling her their names...and now, though he is no longer with us on this earth...every time my daughter refers to "little petey" or "big tom gobble" my thoughts will be drawn to him...and i will smile. (as a funny sidenote...just before she got her "little petey" stuck in the sandal, i had asked her to grab her pink sandals, and she looked up at me and said, "mama...my sandals are FREAKING OUT!"...where does she come up with this stuff!)

10. and now for one really superficial smile...the super duper gift card i discovered hidden among the ads in my sunday paper. a gift card that entitles me to a FREE iced coffee from starbucks every day until july 14...yeppers...you read that right, free iced coffee every day until july 14. (i'm sure its a ploy to get people "hooked" by habit into stopping by starbucks daily...but little do they know my bargain-ness...i will be savoring this freebie right up until the 14th...and then, no more...i'm just too cheap to pay $2 for an iced coffee!).

spaghetti anyone!?

sweet little girls...sweet little faces...faces that make even

the most frustrating of moments worth it!

libs helps crush heath bars for a dessert..while kate
scoots around the kitchen wishing she could help too!

before i hit the pillow...

yes...a nice long nap is just what i have in store for the afternoon (while the girls are also enjoying a nice long nap as well, of course!)...but first, i thought i would stop in and leave a little post on my bloggity-blog. how is it that i haven't been by since wednesday...and can it really be that this is the tail end of june! my sister and i were on the phone last night, and she mentioned remembering when my great grandma (GG) used to tell her, "just wait until your old. time moves so quickly." well, apparently both my sister and i have gotten "old"...because i'm definitely feeling the warp-speed of time!

anyway...so here are some "snippets" from the past couple of days!

-a nice visit and walk with my dear friend jill and wee little baby brennan...oh so wonderful to hear her share all of the new joys becoming a mommy has brought into her life. those of you who are mommies completely understand....things like, "well, i am surprised he doesn't sleep all the time...i thought newborns slept a lot more." and "wow...i spend my entire day on the couch nursing!"...oh the joys!

-actually, we've been doing lots of walking and catching up with friends lately. an old co-worker from my pre-mama, teaching days came over with her little guy and we walked and chatted thursday morning.

-meeting my dear friend lora for lunch at "the noodle house" (as elizabeth called it!)...and having the chance to catch up. she just returned from a vision trip (our church's short term mission trips) to kenya, so it was awesome to hear how God is working there...and in her heart as well!

-meeting with our flock group from church

-a loverly time getting to know another fam from our church...they invited us for a cook-out at their house...we ate and then chatted while the kiddos ran around in the backyard-swinging, sandboxing, "playing house" with the baby dolls...and before we knew it it was 9:30 at night and we still had to make the half hour drive home. quite a late night, but so worth it for the wonderful fellowship and the chance to get to know this delightful family!

-elizabeth's first reaction to the sound of fireworks (well...the first she could adequately relate to us with words!)...of course, she was a just slightly exhausted when we arrived home after 10 pm last night (just two hours after her typical bedtime!)...her room was pitch black and the neighbors were doing some early july fourth celebrating. the boom of the fireworks was just a wee bit overwhelming to her tired little ears...and she kept saying, "mommy...my ears make noise!" even this morning when she woke up, she kept saying, "mommy...my ears make noise last night!"

i think that is it for now. after our late night last night i am tuckered out and ready for a nice sunday afternoon nap! hope your days have been lovely!

ten smile tuesday...belated...

so i know...it's wednesday...and, of course, my smiles are a little late. we have been enjoying our special time with my mom...and even the treat of my grandma (GG) spending the day with us. grandmommy and GG took off just a bit ago to head back to the lake...but lucky for us we won't have to say goodbye for long since next week is the fourth of july, so our fam will be headed to the lake to join them.

anyway...here are a few simple smiles.

1. ice cream...what better summer treat than a walk to dq! especially when lib's cone was free because of the summer reading program at the library

2. free books...compliments of the half price book summer reading program. this week we scored "the belly button book" (sandra boynton) for kate...and both "i'll love you forever" and "the runaway bunny" for elizabeth...all for the great price of FREE!

3. enjoying some backyard pool fun yesterday afternoon...gotta love that elizabeth was digging the little pool (which i, of course, intended for kate)...while kate was all about the big pool!

see...even mom and i joined in the pool fun!

4. grillin' out...a big ol' batch of bbq chicken (a la chef mom!) and some marinaded chicken for a chicken salad for lunch today...lots-o-meat!

5. garage sale steals and deals...including our new video cam...some great books...clothes for the girlies (by the way...i am done with garage saling...the girls now have full wardrobes for next season!)...and even an alligator lounge chair for libs (you'll see pictures of that after we go to the lake next weekend)...and best of all...a super cute alligator onesie for our kater gator!

6. receiving some super great rebate checks in the mail..seriously...gotta love being surprised by big amounts of fundage!...plus a check from half price books for books that were cluttering up our office...and that cash from selling the little plastic swingset!

7. some "canasta-ing" with my mom...and i have to mention that i schnaukered her!

8. an awesome prayer and worship sunday evening service at church...more to come on that one tomorrow.

9. de-cluttering a bit...

10. a quick ice cream date with my hub monday night...nice to run out and enjoy a few minutes on weeknight! thanks mom!

they're coming...

i know...its ten smile tuesday. and they will be here later...its just that right now we are having too much fun doing the smiling to break for blogging. but...i promise they'll be up later...in fact, my mom might make a visit as a "guest poster" to share some of the highlights in her eyes!

mission accomplished

for those who have been to our house and walked into our "office" (ahem...miscellaneous stuff (much of which just might have been junk...some of which was "stuff" that just didn't fit this phase of life...like the massive drafting/hobby desk the hubster bought me for scrapbooking, etc...it just wasn't going to be used enough to justify taking up that much space)...but i digress)....anyway...if you happen to be one of the people who have seen the "office"...you know just how miraculous it truly is that we've succeeded in clearly a space big enough for a full sized bed (which will be arriving with my mom monday morning when she comes to visit!)! yes...yes...you can applaud us now! the aforementioned desk is disassembled and just waiting to be picked up tomorrow by its new owner (thanks craigslist!)...two or three massive garbage bags have made their way to the curb....our poor shredder has almost been worn out doing its job....two old (well..one old and one ancient) computers and a really old laptop have safely made their way to the computer hauler-awayers (can you tell that i don't know the true term for this!) minus their hard drives, which have been destroyed...and alas, we are ready for you to visit, mom! thanks for being the impetus to really tackle the room!

it was quite the day at the "yak" household...not only did we get rid of the desk and computers...we also sold our little plastic playset from the backyard...since we now have our big swingset! and we made one quite exciting garage sale purchase from some neighbors...our very first camcorder...something we have wanted for quite awhile but just couldn't justify expending the funds for. but some neighbors were getting rid of their gently used camcorder since they were movin' on up to the new technology...their old one will do just fine for the little family moments we want to capture (i say little...but really, these everyday moments are huge! and i can't wait to share them/have them to look back on one day!).

all that and we also enjoyed a nice picnic in the park...followed, of course, by some playing on the playground...sliding, swinging, running, simply enjoying the evening. and then, well, we stopped by elizabeth's favorite store in the world...lowe's...yep, she LOVES lowe's...and i have a sneaky feeling kate is falling slightly in love with it as well...mostly due to the swell race car carts our lowe's has. these are your average grocery store "car cart"....nope, they are racecars...which elizabeth finds absolutely fabulous. kate has just recently gotten big enough to ride along in the car part...and she is quite the driver...i simply love watching the girls sit next to each other and interact. i took some pictures will my cell phone, so perhaps i'll have to get around to figuring out how to download them to my computer so i can add them to this post...i'm just sure you will think they are as cute as i do!

anyway...hope your saturday was equally lovely!

a "sneak peek"

i promised a post with tales of our "going ons" and pictures...and then proceeded to post cvs stuff...so here's a teaser of our days...and now, i'm off to hang with the hub...