Wednesday, February 23, 2011

the wait continues...i'm officially much more pregnant than i've ever been. i must admit, some days i am waiting gracefully...other days, not so much.

saturday was a melt-down of emotions kind of day. i woke up at 5 am with continuous contractions for almost 2 hours...when i finally got out of bed and showered they promptly stopped. after a similar bout thursday evening and friday mid-day i was quite done with the "false-ness"...and i was just plain weary. while Elizabeth and Kate had allowed us to sleep in a bit, they had instead been playing in the playroom which was an absolute disaster...that coupled with an exhausted, emotionally frazzled, lacking Jesus-time momma wasn't the best combo. the day improved...and then tanked...and then improved...and then tanked...oh how thankful i am for His Word, encouraging music, sweet and encouraging friends who reminded me that it is okay to simply "be" where i am with the Lord...not to put on a pretty and patient face but to bring Him my true emotions...and most of all, how thankful i am for my husband who loves me in spite of my sometimes 5 year old-ish emotional tantrums.

sunday dawned a NEW day...and i was thankful for the chance to get out of the house for church, enjoy some fellowship, hear His Word, etc. and i finally got around to having mike take a couple of profile shots...because i am reminded that i won't be looking like this much longer. i'm not big on prego pictures of myself...but, oh well, here i am...all babe in the front...this "little" man is low and out there...

i am thankful that i was able to make it to my MOPS meeting last week. one of my dear sweet friends spoke...she spoke on "glorifying God by just being YOU"...reminding us that God made us who we are, and we most glorify and please Him by living that out...not by pretending we are someone else....not by longing for someone else's circumstances, gifts, etc. one of the quotes from her talk..."When we withhold ourselves from others, when we spend our time and energy trying to be like someone else, we deny the Lord the glory He is due and deprive the Church and those around us of the unique image of God that He has placed in us and us alone." -Nancy Just

oh how true that statement i needed to hear and be reminded. the words the Lord spoke through her last Thursday are still challenging my thoughts, especially when she talked about the Lord planning the unique circumstances we are each in at this very moment. she has been the one on the other end of the phone several times in the past few days...reminding me that i don't have to push myself to be "social" in the midst of the wait...that i don't have to feel upbeat and happy all the time...that i simply need to cling to Him and trust in His plan, even if that means admitting that i don't always like it.

that said, we went for my appointment Monday morning and found that despite lots of contractions, etc. i was still just 75% effaced and 1 cm dialated...the same as last week. we have scheduled an induction for next monday morning...if he hasn't arrived on his own (and, honestly, i'm not holding my breath...he seems to be pretty comfy inside the womb--and honestly, since he can hear the constant chaos of his three sisters i can't say i'm all that surprised :) ). at my ultrasound 3 1/2 weeks ago a conservative estimate was that he was measuring 9 four weeks later at an average gain of 5-7 oz. a week, we could be talking ginormo-baby....but God is sovereign over that as well. while i would love to go into labor on my own...naturally...i am also totally onboard with induction if we make it to monday morning. i must admit, it is amazing how much having a "date" has helped the waiting...that combined with actually having a plan for the week (something we didn't have last week when we thought we were being induced back then...and that about made me crazy--who knew, i am far more of a routine and schedule girl than i would have ever admitted before!).

sunday i got a few books at the it is has been nice to do a bit of reading while waiting...and keep on knitting...i finished earflap hats for jilly and kate...need to start elizabeth's boy already has about 5. :) i've been snuggling my girlies...kate especially loves using her baby brother as a pillow. we've been going through our normal routine (and daddy has done some fab hair-styling while washing!). laundry. diapering. baths. breakfast. lunch. dinner...the norms.

...and because i simply think they are adorable...i HAVE to share pics of the cutie XS and S bumgenius AIOs a sweet friend gave me Sunday morning...they are cute and tiny...and just up the anticipation a wee bit more!


Rebecca said... are truly beautiful!! thanks for sharing the prego pic. cannot wait to "meet" baby boy. i've been thinking of you and praying for you every day. i know the waiting feeling...all 3 of my girls came in the beginning of week 41. and i agree with your's totally ok not make yourself be social right now...and to admit you are not always happy :). love you, friend!

Nicoly said...

Oh, poor sweet friend! You look beautiful in your picture but I so remember the days of waiting and it is hard! I can hardly believe that a year ago we saw each other and you had baby Jilly and now you are about to have this sweet baby boy! Can't wait to "meet" him and I hope he makes his debut before Monday!

Nicoly said...

Oh, boy...didn't realize my sis was logged in! It's Courtney! Or Cottagemommy!

Chelle said...

bless your beautiful mama heart/belly...I still remember so well the emotional roller coaster at the end with Jack...and waiting game...and the feeling of never having been "this" pregnant before...oh praying for you, sweet friend. But you have three lovely little girls to take care of while you wait + which has got to be distracting in a good way at times but mostly so exhausting at this stage in the amaze + inspire me sweet friend.
Praying for you and so excited to here the news that he's here! xo And please, just rest today if you can.

Aminta said...

Oh Amanda! YOU LOOK AMAZING. I gotta say that boy makes you smile! I know waiting. But I think all mommas know WAITING whether you are late, on time, or early, that last month, month and a half last forever.
I am so excited for you guys! More testosterone in your lovely home full of loving little mommas. How exciting to experience boy clothes, boy "hammer time" with anything that is a bit long and can make a noise on anything (including other little heads.... beware!), boys boys boys= FUN FUN FUN! Your girls will be even better girls with a boy around.
As you can see, Amanda, I am so excited for you!
Love you so much! And MONDAY is SOOO soon!
XO, Minta

Nikki said...

Praying for you....and hoping that your family is able to enjoy these last few days of being a family of five. Hang in there! You look AMAZING!! :-)

Little Candle said...

I love the picture...thank you for sharing. I never like the pregnant pictures much either, but, they are nice to have after the fact. I think of you often and I can't wait to hear when this little guy arrives! Hugs!

Aminta said...

OOOO! Lookie lookie somebody had a beautiful baby boy! Congrats Amanda! XOXO