moments...

lately we've had so many little sayings and moments that i wish i could bottle up and save...precious "elizabeth-isms" and little kate tendencies for this stage. i know i say it all the time, but it is oh-so-true...my girls are growing up so stinkin' fast. today was our last MOPS meeting of the year (which is crazy...can it really be the third week in may!?). hard to believe that nine months have passed since the first meeting of the year. i so vividly remember trying to juggle kate's newborn needs with my hospitality responsibilities each meeting. and today she is such a big girl...but, nonetheless, it was still a balancing act...setting up tables, slicing brunch casseroles and baked goods, trying to finalize all those preparations while keeping the cheerio pile stock and make sure she did roll her way into anything off limits (and thats not even mentioning trying to keep an eye on elizabeth!). its been a big year. and i am so thankful for the part my MOPS group has played in this year...encouraging me in those moments of struggles and doubts (and even in the exciting moments!), teaching that helped me strive to be a more godly wife, mother, friend, and person in general, friendships--some for this season and some that will carry on, and good food each thursday morning (really...it is so worth mentionning...our MOPS group puts out quite the spread!). not only that, but MOPS is a place where i can give of myself in ministry to other moms. reflecting on this year we have gone through so much as a community of moms...ministering to one mom in particular who just weeks after announcing the joy of her pregnancy miscarried her precious babe. there were many tears, hugs, and prayers that morning as she shared her story. ministering to moms who are struggling in the midst of infertility--making decisions regarding adopting and fertility treatments, wading through a sea of decisions and trying to navigate them through the lens of God's Word. ministering to moms who are simply tired and overwhelmed...who are in need of hope and rest and encouragement. seeing some of those mom's find the answer to that "longing" in their hearts in a personal relationship with Christ...thank you Lord for MOPS...and, as much as i love MOPS, thank you for a break. our MOPS group is quite large, 80+ moms, and the previous leaders have set an incredible level of excellence, so being in charge of set up, brunch, gifts, and so many other little details has been quite a job...and while i love it, i am simply ready for a small little respite. and then, in a couple weeks it is back to it...brainstorming, planning, shopping, and creating...there are centerpieces to create, baby gifts to sew, birthday gifts for moms, speaker and meeting themes to think about...oh my, the break will be wonderful, if i can simply get my mind to cooperate with the break!

anyway...i mentioned those moments i simply wanted to capture....

-kate's new favorite activities--waving and clapping...her sweet little wave, a little hand opening and closing...incessantly. interrupted by intermittent claps.

-"that be alright, mama!?" elizabeth's favorite way to pose a question. "i have a snack. that be alright, mama?" if you could just see her little face as she says it...as if she realizes just how cute and irresistible she looks.

-elizabeth looking over at me yesterday and out of the blue saying, "i love jesus, mommy. i love jesus A LOT!"

-watching kate's hilarious backward crawl...(and i am definitely using the term "crawl" loosely...

-elizabeth's announcement every time we pull up to the house in the van and she can see the backyard. "i STILL be loving my swingset mama." "daddy and poppy work SO hard buildin' my swingset."

-the way elizabeth loves to swing on her belly...twisting the swing around and around and then twirling with it...just like i loved to when i was little.

-elizabeth's reaction to bugs...absolute terror! she refuses to go within 5 feet of anything that looks remotely like a "ladybug" (as she refers to ALL bugs)--and let me tell you, she thinks any miniscule (i mean, TEENY TINY) speck of dirt is a bug...yesterday there were worms in the driveway as she walked around to get into the van. she stopped in her tracks, turned and ran back to me..."mama, carry me! SNAKES in the driveway!" i explained that they were just worms and that worms wouldn't hurt her...so now she loves telling me, "worms not hurt me, mama...you carry me anyway...worms are icky!"

-kate bouncing in her exersaucer...let me tell you, this girlie can really get that saucer a rockin'...

i never posted a mother's day post. perhaps because every one of my posts tends to be about my "mommyhood". but it is moments like these that make up what it means to be a mom in my eyes...the little day to day "stuffs"...the moments to cherish and savor. the hard ones and the joyous ones. if someone would have told me before pregnancy how H-A-R-D motherhood would be, i wouldn't have believed them, but it is all worth it. with tears in my eyes i admit that i don't understand why God has chosen me to be the mom to these two precious girls....while i know so many friends and even some of you reading this blog post are struggling with infertility, wondering if God will choose to knit a life together in your womb. some moments...this very moment, being one...i am struck with awe as i realize what an incredible responsibility God has entrusted to mike and i....and yet, what a major blessing and joy. being a mom has opened my eyes to my own sin in new ways...my selfishness, my inadequacies, my fears, my expectations....and yet, he has also opened my eyes in a new way to His grace, mercy, and love. He has helped me to understand my own mother in a new light...what a precious gift. thank you, Jesus.