Thursday, June 18, 2009

just a little note... the wee babe tucked safely inside my womb....

dearest "flipper"...

it is hard to believe that in just over two months you will join our family on the "outside"...very, very hard to believe. that said, you are already so ingrained in our hearts and so much a part of the family. i know you can hear the way that your biggest sister sings her little heart out to you at bedtime each evening...the joy with which she proclaims in song that "He's got our itty bitty baby, in His hands" (and, oh how true we know that is!)...the way she on occasion loves to squish against my belly and give you all the snuggles she possibly can. and, oh my, how could you miss the voice of your other big sister (the not quite AS big one) as she shrieks "BABY!" and pokes at you with her little finger. oh how i wish you could actually feel the slobber as she slathers my belly with her slobbery kisses. she is a silly little girl...always trying to get a peek under my shirt, as if she might magically be able to see you. :) and, of course, you have felt her jostling you around...trying to find a bit of extra room on my lap...a lap that seems to be dwindling in size as each day goes by. yes, little are already so much a part of the deeply embedded in our hearts.

you move A LOT...but you aren't so much a kicker at this point...more of a "flipper"...hence your nickname. seriously...sometimes i wonder just what you are trying to do in there. perhaps you are just practicing for a future acrobatics career....or an aspiring olympic gymnast, perhaps (although, for that to happen you would most definitely have to inherit the ability from somewhere other than mommy's side of the family!). it delights my heart to feel your little movements...and thrills me even more when i can watch my belly and see a foot pop across my belly...or perhaps it is a hand. i'll be honest, even after three pregnancies, i really have no clue what i'm feeling when i probe around! :) it does worry me a wee bit that your favorite time of the day to move around like crazy is late at know that this will most definitely need to be adjusted once you break free to the outside world...because mommy thinks she is going to need her sleep to keep up with you AND your sisters! :) actually, it is almost as if you know i am writing to YOU right at this moment; you are flipping all over the place...making your presence known.

sweet baby...i cannot wait to meet you. i wonder often about your gender...are you another sweet and precious baby girl...sugar and spice and everything nice? or, could you possibly be our very first little boy...all snakes and snails and puppy dog tails? either way, we will be delighted to meet you. although, i must say, your biggest sister is the most opinionated on this issue. for months and months and months she insisted (quite adamantly) that you are a boy....her brother...that, in fact, we "already have enough girls in our family". but then, dear one, just the other day she changed her tune...and for the past 5 days she has been just as adamant that you should be a baby girl...another little sister. what prompted this change? well, dear baby, we picked up some shoes at a garage sale...cute little girl shoes....very pink...very feminine--just in case...because, you see, mommy has a weakness for shoes, especially cute, name brand, barely worn shoes for just a dollar a pair--and well, you very well might be a little we bought them. upon arriving home your biggest sister asked, "mommy, are those for our baby?" i answered, "well, elizabeth, they are if its a girl." "but mommy, can the baby wear them if its a boy?" "well, i don't think daddy would let a boy wear bright pink shoes. if our baby is a boy we'll give them to a friend as a present." "oh...." and then your sister paused to think for a minute...even tapping her finger against her chin (she likes to do that, you know), and replied, "mommy...i think our baby should be a girl...because those shoes are awfully cute." and that, dear baby, is her final verdict on the should be a girl, because otherwise, what would we do with the shoes!

as for mommy and daddy...well, while those shoes are awfully cute...and will look splendid on your feet if in fact you are a girl....well, we will be thrilled to meet you whether you are a boy or a girl. sometimes it makes mommy feel a little crazy when people ask if we'll be "okay" with another girl. of course we would. we will be equally delighted by your arrival whether boy or girl. sweet baby, you are God's gift to us...our family is not complete without you...and God knows PERFECTLY what and who our family needs...whether girl or boy...whether spunky and noisy or quiet and reflective. God knows you...and that is enough for us. oh how i am praying for you...for the plans God already has for you...the days He has already numbered. it is amazing that He already knows your name...and amazingly enough, right now, He is the ONLY one who knows it...granted...mommy and daddy have it narrowed down to two options...but only God knows whether you fit the bill for the boy option or the girl one. He already knows exactly what moment and day you will be born...and until then HIS hands are knitting you together. how amazing is that?!

in the meantime, while we await your arrival, mommy is hard at work knitting a blanket for you. and i'm busy dreaming...dreaming of the little "stuffs" i would love to purchase on etsy...or make myself...but, sweet one, most of those will have to wait until we meet you...until we know boy or girl. and that, sweet baby, is driving me a wee bit crazy at times! but i'll keep knitting away...and dreaming that perhaps i might have just a wee bit of time to sew after you arrive. each time i walk through a fabric store my eyes are drawn to anything elephant that is our "theme" for you. your biggest sister was monkeys...your other sister alligators...and you, sweet one, will love elephants. i know you will...because you will be inundated with them! in fact, your sisters have already purchased your first little stuffed elephant...and he is waiting for you in your "yet-to-be-cleaned-out-and-finished" nursery. but oh how i love these if you are a boy (or perhaps they could even be made in girlie colors if you do in fact happen to be a girl)...and this if you are a girl. and i've perused oh so many other cute little these and these and this and this (which just might be my fav, even though it isn't particularly boy-ish or girl-ish) or this or this...and i'm finding these irresistible...and these (and oh my, it comes it boy OR girl colors!) or this or this or these or this....and oh i digress...i could get carried away with dreaming of all of these little extras...but, sweet one, as you can see...mommy has visions of elephants in your future! :)

but truly...i am praying for you. praying as God forms you...praying for your health and strength....praying you would have a heart that thirsts and longs for God....that you would be drawn to Him when you are young...that you would follow Him all of the days of your life. and i am praying for your daddy and myself...and for your sisters...that we would love you and cherish you....that daddy and i would be responsible stewards of God's gift...shepherding and discipling you...modeling a love for God and hearts of worship....that we would make Jesus so attractive that you would not resist His call on your life. oh how i pray God will help me to love you with grace and gentleness, to teach you with patience, to nurture you and raise you up in the truth.

sweet baby..."flipper", if you like....we love you so incredibly makes my heart burst. we cannot wait to meet you....we simply cannot wait!



Little Candle said...

What a wonderful post...I can't believe that the baby will be here so soon!
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Wendi @ Every Day Miracles said...

How I could relate to so much of this - although we do now know that we will be welcoming another sweet little boy. :) No more of those "boy or girl??!!!" questions. :)

It's so exciting to think about these little ones - who they will be, how we will adjust to their coming into our families. :)

Just LOVING all of the adorable elephant baby thing!! Oh my, what a great wish list you have there!

Rebecca said...

such a beautiful post. and i can't believe it's almost time for that precious babe to make his/her debut!! we're just so excited for you guys!

those elephant items you've found on etsy are adorable!!

and i enjoyed your previous post as well. thanks for sharing your heart. can definitely relate to the priorities and such.

Nancy M. said...

This is such a touching letter to your little one! I know you are so excited to be able to meet him or her soon!