12 days...

it is so hard to believe there are just 12 days left until Christmas. and, i'll be honest, part of me wants to fly right through those 12 days and just get to Christmas day...for many reasons...

1. i'm really looking forward to having mike off for an extended time period
2. i'm excited to be spending Christmas at the lake with grandmommy and poppy (and GG too!)
3. i cannot wait to give, give, give to the girls...no, we don't go hog-wild on presents, but my heart is so delighted and excited about giving them the little things we've picked out. i cannot wait to see the sparkle in their eyes and the excitement on Christmas morning.
4. i'm just feeling "blah" and ready for a change of pace...of course, i realize that it is not a change of pace i need...more like a change of heart. but, it is easy to get caught in the thought that a change of situation will change my heart...so not true, but easy to do.

so, like i said...part of me wants to count these twelve days down and zoom right into Christmas day. BUT...as much as i think i want that, my goal is to enjoy and live fully in the moments of the next twelve days. every year Christmas day comes and goes sooo quickly. one moment we are decorating the tree and the next moment we are taking it down. one moment we are wrapping the presents and the next moment the wrapping paper is torn off, wadded up and in the trash bags. instead of rushing through the next twelve days, i want to stop and savor the "longing"...not the longing for presents under a tree, but that longing that is truly our heart's crying out as we await the coming of Jesus. i want to celebrate Him....to bring my heart more fully into communion with Him...to prepare myself spiritually to celebrate and worship Him on Christmas day and not just the presents and other "stuff" of Christmas.

i want to savor the cold weather that has us trapped inside the house most of the time and enjoy the time huddled up with books or doing "crafties"....not just wish it away and long for summer weather. i want to savor the mess around my house, remembering it is simply part of having three little blessing to keep up with....not get trapped in constantly cleaning and stressing about the mess. i want to spend time talking about Jesus and what Christmas is TRULY about with my girls (and my own heart)....not rushing toward the hoopla of presents. i want to delight in the little hands helping me dump ingredients into the crockpot to make play-doh....not grow frustrated by the spillage or constant touching of what they shouldn't be touching. i want to sit with my cup of coffee and meet with Jesus in the mornings, seeking His peace and strength...not stay under my covers thinking extra sleep will bring me peace or energy for the day. i want to lay aside my unrealistic expectations for each day and simply let that day be what it is...messy, chaotic, and not necessarily my plan or agenda. actually...not only is that my goal for the next 12 days...but for the whole entire year...for every day...whatever it might bring.

...and while i haven't posted any smiles lately....we have been smiling. i will try to post some pictures tomorrow...but while i'm here i'll share.

-making dough ornaments with fun friends!
-painting those dough ornaments!
-chatting with grandmommy and poppy on the webcam....each day the girls wake up asking if "today" is the day we go to their house. they might be just a little bit excited! :) i'm not sure who is more excited about it...the girls or poppy!
-a little bit of play-doh playing...and today we are trying out a crockpot play-doh recipe. we're going to tie cookie cutters onto baggies of our homemade play-doh as a present for the kiddos of my MOPS table! :)
-a chick-fil-a family dinner night
-date night for mike and i...without any kiddos!...we enjoyed dinner at our favorite mexican restaurant and a lot of good, uninterrupted conversation
-hanging out with friends at a Christmas party last night
-being completely finished with Christmas shopping
-"swimming" in the big garden tub...the girls...not me...although, perhaps i need a spin in the garden tub sometime this week! :)
-jillian's first experiences of the blessed hunk of ugly plastic called the exersaucer...she is seriously enjoying it...as i suspected since she really likes to stand!
-animal shaped pancakes for breakfast...what could be better than pancakes...except, of course, for a pancake shaped like a monkey! (thanks grandma and grandpa f!)
-learning lots about grace...seriously...what day goes by that i don't learn more about grace...both giving and receiving.
-being humbled...again, what day goes by that i am not completely humbled.
-eagerly checking the mail each day and delighting in Christmas cards with pictures and news of beloved family and friends! :)
-and...so.much.more!