Wednesday, April 16, 2008

{passionate}

leslie over at "my happily ever after" posed a tremendous question today...what are you passionate about? it was an audience participation type question...and i've decided to participate. actually, it is interesting that she would choose to post that question at this particular time. she made mention of how our blogs somehow tend to cut to the nitty-gritty--the moment by moment trials, joys, struggles, questions...the trivial and the significant. i guess i hadn't thought about it all that much, but quite frankly those who read my blog may know me better than some of the friends i have known for years outside of blog world. you blog readers know my weekly smiles...you see the day in and day out pictures of my family...you get my random tidbits and thoughts...and i get to savor the same glimpses from your life. but i digress a bit....

perhaps i should finish my first thought...that it is rather interesting leslie should pose that particular question at this particular time. though i hadn't necessarily been using the word "passion", this is something that has been rolling around in my mind quite a bit as of late. perhaps because i have been a bit off kilter...feeling caught up in the day by day....the cooking, cleaning, diaper-changing, story reading...i think you know what i mean. it isn't that those are bad things...in fact, i think they are wonderful things, things that are supposed to be a part of who God has created me to be...but i think i have been missing the big picture...the piece of the puzzle that fits them all together.

what am i passionate about? what should i be passionate about first and foremost? God. plain and simple. God. my Lord. my Savior. Jesus.

lately...and when i say lately i don't mean just this past week...no, it definitely goes back further than that. lately, i see how my focus has slipped. i have been spending my energy on the people and stuff in my life....on the tasks at hand....on my involvement in groups...and on and on. while i recognize that is a huge part of how i am to live out my faith...it is not the core. i cannot be a great wife without a passionate focus on the God who create me, who called me to Himself, who set the example of how to live and love and serve and sacrifice. a clean house and warm dinner is in vain if i come to the table with a weary, joyless heart. i have nothing to give to my daughters, nothing of worth to teach them if i do not first sit at the feet of my Lord...being refreshed, challenged, encouraged, and instructed. my service in ministries or groups is in vain if it is not motivated by my love for Christ. if i do not keep my passions focused on Christ, then all else fails....i grow weak and weary. and friends, that is where my heart is right now...weak and weary, tired...not necessarily because of any particular thing...simply because i have allowed my passion to become dry. and yet even in the mundane, the day to day, the struggles, God calls us to take pleasure it in....to be filled with a passion for Him as we go through those moments. ecclesiastes 3 talks about the many "seasons" there is a time for...some joyful, some sorrowful, some easy, some hard...and yet, regardless of the season, it says this, "I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat, drink, and take pleasure in all his toil--this is God's gift to man" (Ecclesiastes 3:12-13).

so, what am i passionate about? right now, not much. what do i want to strive with all of my heart to make my one and only consuming passion? worshipping, loving, serving, following my King. it is one of those prayers you cringe before praying...because who knows what God might choose to bring into your life to accomplish His purpose, but truly this is my prayer....that God would strip me down that i might find my everything in Him once more...that He might do to me as He did to the house of Israel in Ezekiel 36:22-38--"I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." (v. 26) oh how i long for parts of my heart that have been cluttered and hardened to be crumbled...that my love and passion for Christ would be made new.

amazingly enough, right now the song "i need thee every hour" is playing on my CD player in the background. appropriate i suppose...perhaps the passionate prayer my heart needs to lift up to God right now.

I Need Three Every Hour

I need thee ev’ry hour, most gracious Lord;
no tender voice like thine can peace afford.
I need thee, O I need thee, ev’ry hour I need thee;
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to Thee.

I need thee ev’ry hour;
stay thou nearby;
temptations lose their pow’r when thou art nigh.
I need thee, O I need thee, ev’ry hour I need thee;
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee.

I need thee ev’ry hour, in joy or pain;
come quickly and abide, or life is vain.
I need thee, O I need thee, ev’ry hour I need thee;
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee.

I need thee ev’ry hour;
teach me thy will,and thy rich promises in me fulfill.
I need thee, O I need thee, ev’ry hour I need thee;
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee.

I need thee ev’ry hour, Most Holy One;
O make me thine indeed, thou blessed Son.
I need thee, O I need thee, ev’ry hour I need thee;
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee.

8 comments:

Leslie said...

beautiful beautiful post, Amanda. Really trully. Honest, and heartfelt, and I pray that the Lord will renew your sense of joy in Him, and your utter and total reliance.
Thanks for particpating.

Shanna said...

I'll head over now and take a peek at Leslie's post.
I'm going to have to do something thinking on this subject...

Lisa said...

I read Leslie's question earlier today and have been thinking about it ever since - your answer is beautiful and I think it speaks to all of us ladies! Thank you for the inspiration and your passion, Amanda! Y

Rebecca said...

beautifully written post. and a lot of how i am feeling of late. thank you for sharing! i will have to check out leslie's blog.

Fairlightday said...

I think you have hit the nail on the head for me Amanda. I've spent the whole afternoon contemplating Leslie's post as I ran around doing errands. And I roughly came up with a post very similar to this. IT will be interesting to see how many of us say something close to yours because I think a lot of us are in the very same spot. I know I am. Thank you for being so open and honest.

Rhonda said...

Hi Amanda, thanks for commenting on my blog. It's nice to meet you. I loved reading your post too. I have 2 friends that don't have blogs, but emailed me their response and it is exactly what you said. I think the enemy is hard at work trying to get us to lose our passion so that our lights don't shine as brightly as they could. And I know that I never intend to get to the place that you are talking about, but it happens. As I consider the seasons of MY life, I have been exactly where you are talking about TOO MANY times. Thank God that He is patiently waiting for us to come back to intimacy with him. And I think you hit the nail on the head when you were talking about how all of the things that we should be passionate about have their right place if we were more passionate about God. Thank you soooo much for sharing your heart. I look forward to spending more time with you via blogger.

Noah's Momma said...

I'm slowly trying to get back to the realm of blogging, and I first came to yours and oh how you just blessed me! It was so beautiful and it made my heart just long to do the same!
May you find peace and joy in him

diashermosos said...

Thank you for such a beautiful and honest post. You always give me something to think about.